10 Tips For Getting In The Mood

lovebackgroundFebruary is the month for love and romance, and since I’m the resident romance writing Wordbitch, I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk about sex. Writing sex scenes to be specific.

Not all my books have a sex scene in them, in fact, my Castle Mountain Lodge Books are considered ‘sweet romance’ which means there’s no sex ‘on screen’. However, some of my women’s fiction books have some heat and my new series, The Springs, is definitely steamier.

Writing sexy time can be a big hang up for a lot of people, but with a few tips, and plenty of practice, (I also use  red wine) you’ll be getting down and dirty in no time. Here are my top

1) Pretend no one will read it

This is important. If you’re constantly thinking about what your mom’s going to say when she reads your word, you’re probably not going to be able to let go. Just write. Don’t think. Get it out on the paper. You can worry about everything else later.

2) No one needs a how-to manual

Let’s be honest. Everyone who’s reading your book knows the basics of sex. They know what goes where and what happens. So please, drop the step by step instruction guide. If someone really wants to know how to do the dirty deed, there are books for that. It shouldn’t be in your novel.

3) Remember all the senses

This is good advice for any scene, but particularly in a sex scene. Obviously, your hero is going to be feeling and seeing things. A lot of things. But, they’re also going to smell the musky spice of their partner’s arousal, taste the slightly salty tang of her skin, and hear her moan of satisfaction. Your hero will be present with all five senses, let your reader in.

4) Let the characters decide how it plays out

You may think this one is slightly crazy, after all you’re the writer. You get to decide, right? Wrong. If you’ve done your job properly, your characters will be totally in control of thier own sexy time scene. The things they do, say and feel should all be in character. If you have a shy and timid heroine, it’s not likely that she’s going to be into getting busy with her guy at the public beach. Unless of course we know your heroine has secret proclivities towards exhibitionism, but if she does, the reader should already know that. The point is, even your sex scenes have to be in character.

5) No gratuitous sex

Unless you’re writing porn (note: I said porn, not erotica) there needs to be a reason for your characters hooking up. There’s nothing more annoying than a sex scene for the sake of it. The scene should move the story forward in some fashion.

6) Start the scene early on

I don’t mean you should write a three chapter sex scene. But hey, whatever does it for you. What I do mean is the sexual chemistry and tension needs to build from very early on. It doesn’t make any sense at all for two characters to simply fall into bed with each other if there hasn’t been any heat between them prior to that point. Build it, tease the reader with it. Make the reader want it as much as the characters do.

7) It doesn’t have to be sexy

Think of your own experiences. They’re not all straight from a movie. In fact, probably very few are. The point is, a sex scene doesn’t have to be sexy. It can be funny, or awkward, or messy or…fill in the blank. One of my favorite sex scenes of all time was written by fellow Wordbitch, Bradley Somer in his book Imperfections. Two bumbling teenagers, campfire, first time. Need I say more? I laughed until I cried and was totally incoherent. Great scene!

8) Talk to me, baby

I no, I don’t necessarily mean your hero and heroine have to talk dirty to each other. But if that fits into their character…go for it. But sexy time rarely happens in a quiet bubble. If she’s unsure about her first time with him, she might make little jokes, or nervous chatter. Maybe they’re having an argument, or bantering back and forth. Whatever it is, they’re probably saying something.

9) Don’t forget the after glow

This is crucial and also a perfect spot to move your story forward. (Of course your sex scene also should have also done this Remember #5?) What happens after their union? Are they embarrassed, angry, happy…what? Yes, it can be awkward, but the post coupling scene is when emotions are exposed and raw. Perfect for major action (if you know what I mean).

10) Red Wine

Okay, this isn’t totally necessary. But I do find that a little red wine loosens me up and lets me write uncensored. The point is, lower your inhibitions and get writing.

There are almost as many tips and tricks for writing sex scenes as there are positions. For some more great ideas, check out these links:
Twenty Steps to Writing Great Love Scenes
25 Humpalicious Steps for Writing Your First Sex Scene (This may be my favorite post on the subject)
Diana Gabaldon’s Advice

And don’t forget…have fun! It’s sex after all.

About Elena Aitken

Elena is a work at home/stay at home/write at home mom of twins who regularly loses herself in her fictional characters because their lives are way more exciting!
This entry was posted in General Mess. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to 10 Tips For Getting In The Mood

  1. I love it!!!! God knows that sometimes our muse goes AWOL!!! And this could help with any genre.

  2. Heya! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers?
    My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing several
    weeks of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have any
    methods to stop hackers?

  3. Hello there I am so excited I found your webpage, I really found you by mistake, while I was looking on Bing for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say thanks for a fantastic post and a all
    round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I
    don’t have time to look over it all at the minute but
    I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up
    the great work.

  4. apparel says:

    I cοuld not resist commenting. Well written!

  5. With this attachment, you can sanitize not only carpets but also rugs and other fabric surfaces.
    The Bissell 1867-7 has some good design features for a steam mop.
    Over the past ten years we have been inundated by the use of Steam

  6. MLTD says:

    Hi there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it’s really
    informative. I am going to watch out for brussels.

    I will be grateful if you continue this in future.
    A lot of people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  7. This is really interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger.
    I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your excellent post.
    Also, I’ve shared your website in my social networks!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s